Ridiculous Riddles

  • What driver doesn't have a license?
    Ans. A screwdriver

  • Why do statues and paintings of George Washington always show him standing?
    Ans. Because he would never lie

  • What has a neck, but no head?
    Ans. A bottle

  • What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
    Ans. A yardstick

  • What did the guitar say to the rock star?
    Ans. Quit picking on me!

  • What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the beach?
    Ans. Sandy Claws

  • What kind of can never needs a can opener?
    Ans. a pelican

  • Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?
    Ans. In a dictionary

  • How do you avoid falling hair?
    Ans. Step out of the way

  • Why did the doctor switch jobs?
    Ans. He lost his patients!

  • What has 10 legs and drools?
    Ans. Quintuplets

  • Where do old bowling balls end up?
    Ans. In the gutter

  • What did one scale say to the other scale?
    Ans. You have a way about you!

  • Did you ever see the salad dressing?
    Ans. No, but I saw the bacon strip!

  • What did the mayonnaise say to the mustard?
    Ans. Close the door, I am dressing!

  • Why did the clock get sick?
    Ans. It was run down.

  • Why did the tree see the dentist?
    Ans. To get a root canal.

  • How do prevent a summer cold?
    Ans. Catch it in the winter

  • What do mechanics charge to fix tires?
    Ans.A flat rate

  • Why did you get rid of your watchdog?
    Ans. He could not tell time

  • Why did Johnny toss a glass of water out the window?
    Ans.He wanted to see a water fall

  • What paper makes you itch?
    Ans. Scratch paper.

  • What never gets any wetter no matter how hard it rains?
    Ans. The ocean.

  • What person is always in a hurry?
    Ans. One who is Russian

  • What did one wall say to the other?
    Ans. Meet you at the corner.

  • Who always goes to bed with shoes on?
    Ans. A horse.

  • What is the first thing you do every morning?
    Ans. Wake up.

  • If a child is spanked by his mother and by his father, who hurts the most?
    Ans. Probably the child.

  • What do people make that nobody can ever see?
    Ans. Noise

  • What kind of table has no legs?
    Ans.Multiplication table.

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